I was the type of girl that fell into the infatuation trap too often and too quickly. Finally, something clicked--I realized that I needed a foundation of friendship before I rushed into having a serious relationship. When I met Jimmy (before he was my husband) I felt at peace as we gradually got to know each other and slowly began to date each other. Then I made the easiest decision I have ever made--to marry Jimmy. I have never looked back on that decision and I never will.
There's a book called How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerkby John Van Epp, Ph.D. In his book, Epp explains a model that I wish every person knew about. I wish I would have known about this model when I was younger and in the dating scene. The model is illustrated below...
The R.A.M. shows how a healthy and long-lasting relationship should progress. Notice how the Know dial is at the top? We must get to know someone before we trust, rely, commit to, or have much physical touch with them. Oftentimes we flip the model and jump into touching someone (holding hands, kissing, sex, etc. ) before we are committed to them, relying on them, trusting them and even know the person. This can cause a lot of emotional heartache and damage when we flip the order of the R.A.M. model.
